We are almost finished with the theory behind EI. So, last but not least, let’s talk about the fourth pillar of EI; Relationship Management. Focusing on this last EI attribute will show you how the attributes we discussed in the last few weeks (i.e., self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness) are important building blocks of relationship management and by utilizing the strategies learned so far you will be able to successfully develop this last EI skill.
Relationship management is defined as “using your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully” (Aureus Group, 2017) . To gain an even deeper insight into the fourth EI attribute, check out this helpful article from researcher K. Brubaker.
One key aspect of relationship management is the way we communicate. Today’s technology has made it much easier to communicate with whoever we want, wherever they are, whenever the time. Despite this massive increase in connectivity, the screens between us are often a barrier to conversing in ways that result in genuine connection and understanding.
It seems conversation may be becoming a lost art. So, let’s start practicing the conversation habits that strengthen our relationships. Celeste Headlee offers ten tips on how to have a better conversation in this TEDx Talk that we can all benefit from:
📍 Don’t multitask: be present
📍 Don’t pontificate: enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn
📍 Use open ended questions (who, what, where, when, why, how)
📍 Go with the flow: don’t stop listening & let go of the thoughts that come to your mind
📍 If you don’t know, say that you don’t know
📍 Don’t equate your experience with theirs: it’s never the same & it’s not about you!
📍 Try not to repeat yourself
📍 Stay out of the weeds & forget the unnecessary details
📍 Most important skill: LISTEN & pay attention (“listen with the intend to understand, not with the intend do reply”)
📍 Be brief
“Working on a relationship takes time, effort, and know-how. The know-how is emotional intelligence” (- Bradberry and Greaves).
I thus challenge you, our beloved Wonder Who Community, starting TODAY, to be more aware, in control, and in-tune to your own emotions and behaviors as well as those of your co-workers and family members. Let’s listen and observe, think and process before reacting as we continue our journey of creating powerful and lasting relationships in both our professional and personal lives.
Let’s unleash all of the untapped potential within ourselves NOW!